I’ve worn glasses since I was seven years old. I was so accustomed to them that I didn’t like the way my face looked without them (like, at all). And once I found the style of frames I liked, I was even less inclined to try anything remotely different. Two decades later, my facial appearance is just about the same—except now, I fill in my brows to look as symmetric and natural as possible (it only took a good ten years to perfect on my own… IYKYK).
As we get older, our desires shift from trying new things and exploring different environments to sticking with what we know and what “works.” Why is that?
It could be that adulthood feels much easier to manage when it’s predictable, even if that makes it mundane. There’s comfort in knowing that the same routine yields the same results. I find that my approach to life was generally shaped in my adolescence; that is, don’t fix what’s not broken. My judgment of my facial appearance came from what I decided I liked at one point in my life, and since I was never forced to change, I never did.
My discomfort led me to choose between an inconvenient familiar or novel clarity.
Embracing change can be essential to diminishing many forms of stress. While some of us distance ourselves from the unfamiliar, others take strongly to trying new things. Those who have learned to embrace change are far better at rolling with life’s punches and reducing anxiety around disruption than those of us that haven’t. Of course, stepping out of our comfort zone is easier said than done. As a plus-size Black woman and the oldest daughter in my household, I was expected to present myself in a certain way to evade judgment (as if people don’t judge you anyways) and avoid getting more attention than what already comes with the territory of having dark skin and a large body. Before I could even explore the world around me, I obediently settled into the confinement of predictability that my family, and society at large, had carved out for me. But settling is exactly what we should not do. Because we deserve to take up all the space we want, and then some. And there’s no better way to take up more space than to expand beyond the zone of comfort you’re in.
More often than not, discomfort forces us to try new things. My discomfort came in the form of foggy glasses. My body tends to heat up and sweat pretty easily, which would then cause my lenses to get cloudy. After they ruined one too many photo-ops over the last couple of years, I finally got fed up and made the switch to contacts. My discomfort led me to choose between an inconvenient familiar or novel clarity. And while I still push my “imaginary” frames up on my nose now and again (hehe), I feel much better now that I’ve eliminated the insecurity and unease that glasses once caused me.
The funny thing is, the fear of the change is typically worse than the change itself! Yes, the worse-case scenario is possible, but on the very rare occasion that it does come to fruition, “the worst” doesn’t knock us down as hard as we expect it to. With new life choices come exciting new feelings that we haven’t experienced before. At first, I was anxious about my face looking larger, rounder, and generally less appealing without glasses (thanks, 7-year-old me). Contrary to my irrational fears, contacts have actually had the opposite effect on me; seeing my face lens-free on a regular basis has nurtured my love for my natural appearance and has allowed me to experience self-love on a whole new level. And even when I was timid about what people would think about my “new look,” hardly anyone even noticed when I wasn’t wearing glasses, which has made my transition even more seamless.
Settling is exactly what we should not do. We deserve to take up all the space we want, and then some.
Positive changes can reinvigorate our zest for life. Contacts have certainly sharpened my outlook on life, both literally and figuratively. Since I began wearing them, I’ve gained a renewed interest in exploring what other changes I can make to improve my quality of life. I even loosened the reins on doing my own brows and started getting them threaded—who am I?!
We all have reasons for dwelling in our comfort zone, but crossing the threshold into the unfamiliar can elevate our confidence to become whatever version of ourselves that serves us best. Making small changes overtime can help build long-term adaptability that can ease anxiety in many areas of life. So hit up that restaurant with the eccentric menu of food you’ve never heard of before. Or get your adrenaline pumping with something exciting like indoor skydiving (that’s been on my bucket list for a while). Maybe even swipe right on that someone you “wouldn’t typically go for” … okay, baby steps.
All things considered, it’s important to challenge your nature of predictability every so often by doing something that you haven’t done before or haven’t done in a long time. And there’s no better time than the present to do just that!
When was the last time you did something “uncomfortable”? How did you feel afterwards? Share in the comments below!
